Mental Breakdown

Oh, wow...it's been a while, and I'm not even doing a real post right now. Sorry, folks, but it's more of my "soundtrack". I'm gonna finish it up, I'm not going to abandon it partway. So, suck it up. :P

Anyways, this song, for "Mental Breakdown" (which is all of the time, right?) is the opening song to the anime series Xxxholic (apparently pronounced "holic"). It's by some guy named Suga Shikao (or more likely Shikao Suga, since I've been putting artist names the western way). When I chose this song over the others thrown up by the shuffle program, I picked it because the words I could recognize were "I hate being 19" or "I hate myself at 19" (you know, since I don't really know Japanese, I was guessing), but now, upon closer inspection of the lyrics...I dunno how well it fits. But oh well, it's a creepy enough sounding song that it still works. So, without further ado, here are they lyrics (Japanese first, English second).

"19sai" by Shikao Suga

Kuchibiru ni doku wo natte boku no heya ni kita deshou?
Anata no kisu de mou karada mo nou mo toketeshimai sou
Daikirai na boku juu-kyuu-sai
Daikirai na boku juu-kyuu-sai

Hakike ga suru kurai anata no kokoro utsukushii no ni
Nani hitotsu dekinai boku ni doushite kisushite kureru no?
Daikirai na hibi juu-kyuu-sai
Daikirai na kao juu-kyuu-sai

Ku ku ku kuro ageha chou no you ni hokorashii hane de tobitai
Ku ku ku kudaranai-tte iwanai de sonna jinsei ga ii no, ii no...

Yogoreteru tamashii dake wo tori no sogu no ga murinara
Dochira ni arukeba sore wo mirai to yoberu no deshou
Chuu burarin na yume juu-kyuu-sai
Chuu burarin na uso juu-kyuu-sai

Ku ku ku kuro ageha chou ni natte dare kara mo aisaretai
Ku ku ku kubukurin nai toshitemo hon no isshun de ii no, ii no...

Daikirai na boku juu-kyuu-sai
Daikirai na boku juu-kyuu-sai

Ku ku ku kuro ageha chou no you ni hokorashii hane de tobitai
Ku ku ku kudaranai-tte iwanai de sonna jinsei ga ii no

Ku ku ku kuro ageha chou ni natte dare kara mo aisaretai
Ku ku ku kubukurin nai toshitemo hon no isshun de ii no, ii no...

Ku ku ku kuro ageha chou no you ni
Ku ku ku kudaranai-tte iwanai de
Ku ku ku kuro ageha chou no you ni
Ku ku ku kudaranai-tte iwanai de

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You applied poison to your lips and came into my room, right?
With your kiss, my body and mind seem to be melting already
The me who I really hate when I'm at age 19
The me who I really hate when I'm at age 19

Even when your heart is so beautiful that it nauseates me
Why do you kiss me, when I can't even do a thing?
The days that I really hate when I'm at age 19
The face that I really hate when I'm at age 19

L-L-L Like a black swallowtail butterfly, I want to fly with my proud wings
P-P-P Please don't say, "It's stupid"; such a life is okay, is okay...

If it's impossible to remove my soiled soul only
Then to where I walk can I call that my future?
The dream suspended in midair when I'm at age 19
The lie suspended in midair when I'm at age 19

I-I-I I'll become a black swallowtail butterfly; I want to be loved by everyone
E-E-E Even if I'm not almost there, just an instant is okay, is okay...

The me who I really hate when I'm at age 19
The me who I really hate when I'm at age 19

L-L-L Like a black swallowtail butterfly, I want to fly with my proud wings
P-P-P Please don't say "It's stupid"; such a life is okay, is okay...

I-I-I I'll become a black swallowtail butterfly; I want to be loved by everyone
E-E-E Even if I'm not almost there, just an instant is okay, is okay...

L-L-L Like a black swallowtail butterfly
P-P-P Please don't say, "It's stupid"
L-L-L Like a black swallowtail butterfly
P-P-P Please don't say, "It's stupid"

P. S. These lyrics were found courtesy of this website. Thanks, Google!